getting in the way...

Good people of the internet, my whole being is weary. Body, mine, spirit, chakra, atman, soul, whatever... All of it is tired. I think a lot of this has to do with me going to summer school. Let me tell you, it's cool but at the same time and it's a pain in the butt. If I wasn't chasing the carrot-on-a-stick of a college degree to be had in a few short weeks, I would not be putting myself through all of this craziness. In addition to all of this, the career is humming right along. I'm getting calls and booking dates left and right to be someone's drummer, bassist, engineer, or recordist. (As I write this, I wonder why Id even consider taking pity on my fabulous life...)

Here's my point. Amidst all of this great stuff I don't feel settled. My foundation feels shaky like I could drop a ball and the world would come crashing down on me. In an effort to get my act together I was willing to sacrifice probably the greatest gift Ive been granted in a while. I'll keep that between the gift giver and I but let's just say john Locke would consider it something for which dying would not be out the question. (Can you tell Ive been getting educated?) I had resolved to give this gift away and attempted to do so even though Id had reservations the whole time. Last night, I realized that my methodology was flawed and I need to really look elsewhere for the solution to my problem.

Now I find myself in a new limbo. Something so perfect for me and I my meddling in the master's plan may have inadvertently affected the outcome of things. When I set down to write this blog, I was thinking what I would bring to the table and the Jill Scott's tune Gettin' In the Way came to mind. If you aren't familiar, the song is a about a woman try to enjoy a relationship with her beau while his ex is trying to stay in the picture. The chorus says "you're gettin' in the way of what Im feelin." I know now by the way I felt during this whole ordeal that I was getting in the way. It seems as though this is a common problem that a lot of people face. Good people of the internet, I implore you. GET OUT OF THE WAY! Your problems and issues are miniscule compared to whats in the works. Let God do his thing (if you don't believe in Him, let the powers that be do there thing...) What happened to me is a loss of faith and panic. Dont let it happen to you. The fix may not be as easy or immediate. Thanks for reading.


-Truth. Putting the pieces back together, more slowly, more patiently.