Ronald McDonald you pretentious jerk!

Okay. Let me start off by saying if you really love McDonald's, you have stock in the company or you just can't stand to hear me trash an American culture icon, skip to another entry.
-Truth

If you're still reading that means you read the pseudo disclaimer and you are ready to get down to brass tacks.

McDonald's. We've all been there. Some of us even have gift cards... (thanks, aunt faye!) we're all familiar with pop icons like the big Mac, the quarter pounder (weight of burger before cooking) and of course the famous fries. Whoop Dee doo.

In effort to increase profits of the breakfast food line, Mickey D's has just starting airing a new series of commercials. If you haven't seen them here's the gist. People have lives they don't know about. The go to McDonald's, get breakfast and then discover the life they never knew they had. I know what your thinking: "McDonald's breakfast the key to a secret life?" The crazy part is the life isn't even secret. One commercial features a dude that eats a McGriddle sandwich and realizes that he's been married for 3 years. Another features a woman who has some coffee and realizes that she's is the mother of three kids (who are in the car with her when she goes to the restaurant). Now to me, and please realize this is merely my humble opinion, this begs the question: What pretentious jerk in advertising thought up the concept that "one has not begun to live" until he has eaten breakfast at McDonald's? I mean really people, are the golden arches suggesting that we as a people are so brainwashed that we we can only be awakened by the tasty combination of processed meats and eggs slapped between to pancakes with the syrup baked in to the batter?

If this is true, I want to know who will tell the stories of those with a not so happy life? ::munch munch munch:: "Oh crap, I live in a crackhead infested ghetto!" :::sip sip sip:: "Oh man, I'm being indicted for racketeering and my wife left me for my secretary !" ::chomp chomp:: "I'm standing next to Sally Strothers in an save the children infomercial." ::gulp gulp:: "I am Sally Strothers in a Save the Children Infomercial!" or god forbid the worst one: ::Chew chew:: "I went to college for four years and all I know is be a starving artist!" Those stories need to be told.

If you experience a rebirth, rejuvenation or even refreshment from a McDonald's breakfast food, I want to know about it. The good people of the internet deserve to know whether or not an english Mcmuffin can bring enlightenment. Can McDonald's coffee show you what you've been missing? We need to get to the bottom of this claim. There are Millions of people that need an awakening. If McDonald's can do what they profess, I will take it upon myself to get the word out.
Thanks for reading and start living your life today!
-truth, awakeing to the fact that I'm incredibly blessed and loved (no McDonald's breakfast necessary)

PS: there are a million of those little scenarios I thought of since I wrote this. one I really like: Munch Munch Munch "Oh crap I started a war over a lie and I don't know how to get out of it." (that's a can of worms I shouldn't open but I couldn't resist.) -truth