A few thoughts about growing up.
Good blog readers and people of the internet: hello and happy new year! I realize it has been a while since my last entry and that has been both painful and purposeful on my part. It's been painful because I've wanted to write yet I wouldn't write just anything. I like to come with something real and meaningful or nothing at all. So friends, as Freddie Hubbard tells his story about the red clay of Mississippi, I'll clue you in to what's on my mind these days.
My little sister, Benni, is growing up. Like a freight train. It's crazy. Twenty minutes ago she was just poppin' out. Now she's talking about the boys, trying to be cute and what not. Sure this is to be expected but what I wasn't for is the constant civil war going on between Benni and my Mom. Both of them are strong, opinionated women. One just happened to birth the other. Now in most people's eyes, that means one has the overall advantage. To Benni this doesn't seem to mean anything. Everyday they fight about one thing or another usually something incredibly trivial and pointless in the grand scheme of things. But at 14, it seems that only the trivial stuff matters.
"why can't I wear these pants?"
"Because they don't fit."
"Why do I clean it up?"
"Because you dirtied it."
"Why can't I go to the party?"
"Because I said no!"
anyone who's past this stage of life, has kids now or siblings can relate to the scenarios I just listed. What I came to realize after I made it through that stage (which was far less painful for me) was that usually, (and that means every dang time) the parents were right. So now as the conscious, aware and observant brother that I am, I find myself trying to explain to Benni that the things that she dwells on now aren't really things worth fighting about. There are plenty of fights to come with way more important issues against much more ruthless enemies (if you can even call your loving mother an enemy). I had a long talk with her recently about her life and the way she's currently choosing to live it. She listened but I don't think she heard me. I'll have to keep working at it.
Benni is the company she keeps... or so she seems to think. In real life, she is a main line princess that goes to an amazing private school. I think she is a afraid that if she accepts who she really is and how blessed her life really is, she'll lose some sort of street cred or something. (Kind of like the cosby show when some girls called Vanessa "rich girl." don't misunderstand the dowdells are not rich. Just a lil comparison. tee hee.) anyway, Benni finds her company among the ghetto fabulous at her school. Many of whom are main line princesses in their own right but get caught in the same game of trying to front for the cameras and unsuspecting public. I spent some time tonight on Myspace.com just to see what they were into. Interesting experience. She and all of her 14 year old friends are 16 in internet years with their little icons and "sexy" poses and pictures. Hilarious.
In my quest for truth and less Bullsh*t in '06, I confronted her about it. More than once. She never has a reason for acting the way she does. Not even a bad reason. Yet she refuses to change. It makes we wonder if we all have a little of that front built in. I mean sure there's keeping up appearances but when does that go to far? I know I've had to put on the front and embellish my character in certain situations but I've been able to turn it off. Benni doesn't seem to have that ability yet. Just some things on my mind lately. Thanks for reading.
-Truth, a concerned brother/brotha
My little sister, Benni, is growing up. Like a freight train. It's crazy. Twenty minutes ago she was just poppin' out. Now she's talking about the boys, trying to be cute and what not. Sure this is to be expected but what I wasn't for is the constant civil war going on between Benni and my Mom. Both of them are strong, opinionated women. One just happened to birth the other. Now in most people's eyes, that means one has the overall advantage. To Benni this doesn't seem to mean anything. Everyday they fight about one thing or another usually something incredibly trivial and pointless in the grand scheme of things. But at 14, it seems that only the trivial stuff matters.
"why can't I wear these pants?"
"Because they don't fit."
"Why do I clean it up?"
"Because you dirtied it."
"Why can't I go to the party?"
"Because I said no!"
anyone who's past this stage of life, has kids now or siblings can relate to the scenarios I just listed. What I came to realize after I made it through that stage (which was far less painful for me) was that usually, (and that means every dang time) the parents were right. So now as the conscious, aware and observant brother that I am, I find myself trying to explain to Benni that the things that she dwells on now aren't really things worth fighting about. There are plenty of fights to come with way more important issues against much more ruthless enemies (if you can even call your loving mother an enemy). I had a long talk with her recently about her life and the way she's currently choosing to live it. She listened but I don't think she heard me. I'll have to keep working at it.
Benni is the company she keeps... or so she seems to think. In real life, she is a main line princess that goes to an amazing private school. I think she is a afraid that if she accepts who she really is and how blessed her life really is, she'll lose some sort of street cred or something. (Kind of like the cosby show when some girls called Vanessa "rich girl." don't misunderstand the dowdells are not rich. Just a lil comparison. tee hee.) anyway, Benni finds her company among the ghetto fabulous at her school. Many of whom are main line princesses in their own right but get caught in the same game of trying to front for the cameras and unsuspecting public. I spent some time tonight on Myspace.com just to see what they were into. Interesting experience. She and all of her 14 year old friends are 16 in internet years with their little icons and "sexy" poses and pictures. Hilarious.
In my quest for truth and less Bullsh*t in '06, I confronted her about it. More than once. She never has a reason for acting the way she does. Not even a bad reason. Yet she refuses to change. It makes we wonder if we all have a little of that front built in. I mean sure there's keeping up appearances but when does that go to far? I know I've had to put on the front and embellish my character in certain situations but I've been able to turn it off. Benni doesn't seem to have that ability yet. Just some things on my mind lately. Thanks for reading.
-Truth, a concerned brother/brotha
posted by thetruthspeaks at 12:31 AM
3 Comments:
AMEN My Brother! You and your parents should be THANKING your little sister for letting you all live and witness the experience of her world.
The Truth shines through again! Insightful observation of early teen insanity. Growing pains are a MoFo. She's in the process of finding herself. It's a good thing!
wow that is quite a handfull you guys got yourselves. fortunately i never went though that and my sister didnt either. now my bro on the other hand is a whole 'nother story. hopefully she'll grow out of that with the quickness.
steph a.
p.s.
you have myspace??
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